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My Husband's Not Gay (Documentary)

Originally aired on TLC channel in the US, this was such a weird documentary to watch. As it is, to be honest, I have all sorts of perceptions about Mormon life style and their beliefs, but hey, who am I to judge. But then here comes this documentary that follows three Mormon couples in Salt Lake City, Utah whose husbands are attracted to men. The couples explain that while the men feel attraction to other men, which they refer to as Same Sex Attraction (SSA), they do not act on it and are therefore not homosexuals.

This under an hour documentary is about three couples who are friends with each other, because the common thing binding them together is that the husbands have SSA. They categorically deny being gay. They are all married and also have kids but they are attracted to men and their wives know it and are very comfortable with it. What's never shown, only briefly talked about is, that whether any of these men have ever acted upon these feelings and have had sex with other men? The husbands in the show frame the difference between themselves and gays as a matter of choice. Clearly, these are people who believe that if they had made different choices, they would be gay men, not people who believe that being gay is categorically distinct from their experience of same-sex attraction.

Although I have to admit, this documentary was a bit of fun to watch since the couples they picked had interesting personalities, but the way the whole thing is handled is weird. Is it sending the message that being gay is something that can and ought to be changed, or that you should reject your sexual orientation by marrying someone of the opposite sex? I don't know, but it definitely felt like that. There are ways that a gay orientation could be reconciled with heterosexual marriage that wouldn’t rely on the belief that changing one’s sexual orientation is possible. They could, for example, believe that sexual attraction is unnecessary within a marriage. However, this is not the case for the men and women profiled. Every one of them goes out of their way to stress that the guys do, in fact, experience sexual attraction to their wives, and occasionally to other women. Oddly, none of them wanna identify as bisexual either. They keep referring to SSA. Thankfully they don't ass any quirky comments on gay life style. They focus on themselves. The candor with which they discuss their attraction to other guys while around each other seems crazy at first — disconcertingly crazy and certainly disrespectful. But whether it's born of resignation, strategy, or genuine comfort on the topic, the wives all seem happy to join in and chat about Ryan Reynolds. I did noted will not take this show seriously. I saw it, blogged it and will conveniently forget it. (4/10)

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