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I Love You More (Albanian/English)

I Love You More is a queer Kosovo/Albanian coming of age film from a region where we have not seen many LGBTQ+ films. The story may be familiar but it is still relevant and gives an interesting viewpoint from family perspective and the pleasures and pains of first teenage love, especially if it involves dealing with your sexuality as well. Set before the days of apps where online chatting was still probably the only way to met, this little gem of a ilm was a decent watch.

The film starts with us meeting high school boy Ben who confides in his best friend that he wishes he was born in America so that he could be free. Ben lives in countryside in Kosovo, where likely he is the only gay person he knows of. This is also the time where he tells her that he is in love with a boy named Leo, whom he met online and who lives in Germany. Leo visits Kosovo for summer and will visit again in summer and Ben can't wait to met his love in person. This is when the family gets the news that they have won the green card lottery and will need to move to America soon. Ben's hard working mother is super excited but she also senses that the news that should hav made Ben happy has made him sad. Eventually Ben tells her the truth and she takes upon herself to convince the family to delay the travel so that Ben can meet his love. But now Ben needs to do anything to meet Leo. Leo is now in Kosovo but they are still not able to meet. Finally one week before travel , the two boys eventually meet, have a good time, they connect and eventually have sex. All is ok till Leo tells Ben that he has slept with another boy and that break's Ben's heart. His innocent teenage heart cannot fathom how and why will Leo not be faithful to him when all he has done is be loyal to his online love. Heart broken, Ben finally sees sense and appreciates all the efforts that his mother has put in to overlook and actually support her son. We do see in the end why the mother does that because of her own strained relationship with her own mother. 

So, even though the relationship focus between Ben and Leo (who doesn't come until much much later in the film) is the primarily reason of conflict and angst between the family, the main protagonists of the film really are the mother son duo. The mother is willing to do anything to make her son happy even if he’s drowning in teen logic. Cynical viewers may look at the plot here to question why he’s holding on to his first love. But then again, we’ve all been at that stage, right? You want shake up Ben and make him see sense but when it is first love, little makes sense. The mother gets it and tries her best hoping that time will make everything right. Which it does, but probably not in a way that she expected. Love doesn't eventually win but it's the practicality of the situation. I loved the mother's back story on how she was always close to her mother except when she decided to run away to marry Ben's father which drove them apart. What she doesn't want is now to have her and Ben have a strained relationship which is why she is willing to argue with her husband who not only doesn't understand why Ben is gay, but is also furious at his wife for actually supporting him. The film shows two very beautiful relationships, each with its pros and cons: A very supportive and loving mother and son; and a budding romance between two teenage lovers also eventually dealing with heart break. 

The film is director's semi autobiography, and I read online in a statement that he made saying "I made a film about my personal experience because I learned that first love, as beautiful as it can be, during adolescence it can also be very blinding. I was filled with teenage angst and fought to experience romantic desires which also caused so much trouble and put my family’s chance for a better future at risk. I’m telling this story for those who are still behind those closed doors going through adolescence, hoping they see this film and feel less alone just like I did years ago." Despite showing some very gorgeous landscapes of Kosovo, the film is not perfect. At some points it just feels going and on despite its short duration because all that happens is Ben trying to get in touch with Leo to meet multiple times and at the same time, the mother trying her best to keep the family together and hope Ben will to his senses. So, if you can be little patient, which I have to admit that is something I struggled with, this could be a nice rewarding film in the familiar zone but giving a very different treatment. (6.5/10)

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