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Deserto Particular (Portuguese) [Private Desert]

A love story, with not a happy ending for the couple, but still a happy ending for them as individuals following their chosen path and living life on their own terms. This film is an intense chapter into deconstructing what's perceived notion of masculinity. Set in two different words of Brazilians, this intimate drama follows a disgraced cop in search of a virtual lover who ghosts him.

Daniel is a cop/military guy who has some sort of case on hims right now for assaulting and beating a young recruit. He is home taking care of his ailing father occasionally taking help of his sister, who just comes out to her as possibly lesbian. Family is very very important to Daniel butte pressures around him are getting to much for him. His only solace is Sara, whom he met online, with whom he shares intimate chat conversations, but when Sara suddenly ghosts him, Daniel can't keep together. He has thinned to demystify Sara. He leaves home and drives cross country to the town he knows Sara lives. He put flyers all across town hoping to meet Sara and one day he gets a phone call from a. Man named Fernando who asks why he wants to meet Sara. Convinced that Daniel won't hurt Sara, she shows up. Sara is a cross dresser whose actual name is Robson. Robson lives with his grandmother after getting beaten up by his father for his sexuality. Fernando is his only friend. Imagine a real small conservative town where Robson is struggling to live himself in Sara's shoes. Sara and Daniel have an amazing night but when Daniel finds the truth, he is disgusted and angry. He wants to leave immediately but slowly starts to reason behind Robson's unwillingness to tell him the truth. When the village pastor forces to come out to everyone with his secret, Robson is forced to flee the town. The two lovers meet one last night at a bus stop where Daniel finally gives in for love. He loved Sara very much and at this point he realizes that even though Sara is a boy, he needs to act beyond. They need to let each other go their separate ways for the idea of love.

Both Daniel and Robson's characters here are layered and its not easy to keep them all tight knit. Daniel comes from a military family, but we also get to see his vulnerabilities when Sara ghosts him. Daniel is supposed to be strong, immovable, and without vulnerability. Yet deep down, he has emotions, dreams, and desires, which often are forced into suppression. And then we have Robson. As Sara, he is very aware of his sexuality and identity, but much like Daniel, fears confronting that with society’s judgements. People are complex and their situations are even more crazy. What I liked the most about this film is that it never gets over dramatic. Not even once do the two protagonists shout at each other. Every situation is handled in a very respectful matured manner, respecting the other person's space; and I loved that about the film. Daniel doesn't go all crazy when he finds Sara's truth. Similarly when Daniel shows up unannounced at Robson's work, he doesn't go all weirdo. Part of them understand the reason behind the other person's behavior, even though it was that deep connection that brought them together in the first place. The way these two characters connect with themselves and each other is incredibly beautiful and deep. The film is slow. The initial opening credits appear almost after 30 minutes of the film but buy then as audience we have an idea of what and who Daniel is. The film completely shoots in the second half, but this is when it becomes even more interesting. The two men put up a bravura performance, especially the actor playing Robson/Sara. There is courage yet timidness in his performance. But t his doesn't take away from Daniel, whose portrayal of a man bogged down by the system is so legit.

I loved the ending. Many people may not agree but I think it was right. Sara had to find her own path. And its not going to be easy for Daniel to suddenly confront his reality, but they are willing to give each other space. Who knows where their life would take them, but its the story of these two men which will hopefully help us all answer a question or two about ourselves and our thinking. This film is absolutely beautiful and must watch. The pace of the film and slow burning screenplay might be a deterrent for some people but it rewards in its own sweet way. (8/10)

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