The film starts in Mumbai with 30 year old Anad's father having just passed away. He, alongwith his mother visit their ancestral village for his father's cremation and the 10 day rituals. We retold Anand was open about his sexuality to his parents, especially after one of his lovers ended up marrying a girl. Now back in his village, his mother reminds him that everyone will talk about him needing to get married so they will need to make up excuses on why you are still single. While trying to cope with the loss, understanding the rituals and avoiding questions from relatives about getting married, Anand reconnects with Balya. He and Balya were childhood friends, who likely fooled around as kids. Belonging to socially lower class, Balya is being pushed ever more relentlessly towards marriage but he spends his days herding his goats, milking cows and occasionally taking over driving jobs. Anand usually accompanies him and the two talk about life and share warm moments that bring them closer to each other. A very arm mother notices their closeness and hopes that if Anand cannot marry a girl, may be there is a chance he can settle with a boy. The two men eventually feel the love an intimacy that they both have been lacking and after some subtle misunderstanding, Balya decides to go to Mumbai with Anand in hopes to find a more stable job but most importantly to be himself with hopefully the love of his life.
Set in the remotest of village in India, the film begins in a state of mourning and melancholy, and moves on to emotional complexities of its two protagonists walking around the truth.This film isn’t about finding your true self or something. It is a small slice of life about learning to live after someone’s death. So it’s also about Anand’s father. The two men seem to have been close, and we sense that maybe Anand seems closed-in because he is still dealing with this man’s disappearance. His mother is more practical who knows that you cannot change the cards you are dealt in life. It’s probably better to learn how to deal with them. Scenes between Anand and Balya seem casual and your everyday events. They reminisce and discuss the local topography, the fruits they remember sharing, and old trees that have been cut down etc remembering past. You wait for either of the man to make a move but that takes a while because like Balya says, the guys n the village just do it and leave. Very rarely does someone sit and talk. The mother-son bond is also very strong here in the film and I really loved the mother and how understanding she is about everything. As time passes, with multiple conversations and observations with his mother, Anand develops a degree of reverence for the traditions themselves, as something worth preserving for its own sake. As he does so, what began as an effort to comfort his mother gradually leads him to a place where he can reckon with his own grief.
There’s a real sweetness and gentleness about this tale, in which everybody really wants the best for everybody else, but different ways of thinking mean there’s still sufficient dramatic tension to keep it moving. It demonstrates the unique silent pains borne by many queer men who, despite their male privilege, have to fight to remain single and to realize relationships longer lasting than quick clandestine sex. The two boys playing the lead roles are absolutely fantastic and so is the mother. It almost feels like eves dropping on to a family and what is going in their everyday life. Unfortunately the film is extremely slow and will not be everyone's cup of tea. I can see critics lapping it up completely but for an average movie goer, this will definitely test their patience waiting for something substantial to happen, which honestly never does. Personally, I enjoyed the film because I knew what I was getting into it, plus cultural similarities and personal connections always help. Sabar Bonda, like its namesake fruit, might appear prickly for a regular viewer, but it unravels into a sweet story of love, loss and companionship. Stay away if you're looking for a lot happening in a short span. This film is honest, simple and deeply moving. My respect to the film maker for structuring his film around the shifting tides of silence. (8/10)
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